


Letters in the Midst of Chaos

by macabreiero



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Love Letters, M/M, World War II, but isnt he always like that, hes so supportive and wonderfully invasive, i love garth in this au, this was pretty sweet
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-12-29
Updated: 2019-12-29
Packaged: 2021-02-27 06:35:32
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,803
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22012684
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/macabreiero/pseuds/macabreiero
Summary: Dean receives a letter from his lover, Castiel in the year 1942 during World War II.
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 16





	Letters in the Midst of Chaos

**Author's Note:**

> this is actually very cute--  
> also i love garth so much

For the first time in weeks, Dean took a deep breath. It was dark outside, it was quiet for the first time in so long. Rubbing his eyes, Dean took the picture from his uniform, a picture of the man he had fallen in love with despite the ridicule. He looked around and saw everyone around him was fast asleep, at least as far as he knew. He looked at the picture and smiled softly, bringing it to his lips. This was his one comfort, his oasis in the terrible desert that was the war. Castiel, his love, the boy he was out here fighting for, that he’d go through this whole bloody war if it meant coming home again to him. In his hand, Dean held the crumpled piece of paper he had kept in his coat all day. It was the letter he had received earlier that morning when mail had arrived, that he hadn’t read earlier in the fear somebody would ask about who the writer was. But now he smiled at Cas’s picture and ran his fingers over the polaroid. So he unfolded his lover’s letter and began to read, cherish every wonderfully handwritten letter, hearing his voice in his head… and taking all of it in.

_Dean --_

_It’s been far too long, my dear. I honestly don’t know how I’ve been getting through these days without you, sometimes it’s far too much for me to handle. I worry about you a lot, I worry that something’s gonna happen while I’m writing this after I send this and you’ll maybe never receive this letter. Maybe I’ll send you this letter and a day later I’ll have someone knock on my door telling me that you got shot. You see Dean, I don’t even know what to think most of the time. Don’t laugh, but I cried reading your last letter. I don’t mean I just ‘cried’ I mean I full-on BROKE DOWN, I was sobbing!! Just to have some small confirmation that you’re still pushing out there. I know you’d be making fun of me if you were here, you’d probably be calling me a wimp and you’d kiss me on the cheek… Oh would you look at that, I’m about to start crying again now. I just really wish you were here, Dean. You’re so strong, you know that? That you’re able to go away for so long and keep pushing. In a million years, I could never make myself do half the things that you do._

_Sam told me I should just call him whenever I felt like I needed someone to cry or when I felt weak. I definitely utilized that at first but I know he’s busy with Jess and he has a lot going on… I don’t want to disturb him too much. So I usually hold back even though I kinda need someone. Wanna know something? Sam wants to propose to Jess. But he doesn’t wanna do it without you. Dean, when you come home, little Sammy’s gonna propose to Jessica!! Can you believe it?? I think he’s gonna tell you in his next letter. When you come back, it’s really gonna be wonderful, isn’t it? Sam’s gonna propose and we’ll just get to be together again. It’s really crazy how much I miss you, dear, I want you to come home so badly. But it’s your letters are keeping me going, I know you’ll be coming home soon, baby. I love you so much, my beautiful love, fighting for me._

_I’m really just going in circles at this point but I don’t know when I’ll be getting another letter from you, I know you have so much happened and it’s not easy to write but I just want you to know how much I love you. And how I’m not gonna fall out of love with you. I remember you being scared of that. You thought I wasn’t gonna love you or I was gonna find someone new while you were gone. That’s not gonna happen, I won’t let that happen. I’d never do that to you. I want you to use my letters as comfort, know that I’m still here on the other side, waiting for you. I’m at home and I’m waiting for you because I have hope. I have hope that in no time, you’ll be back and we’ll be together again. That’s love, isn’t it? Feeling no matter what, you’ll be together in a matter of time? Now, I don’t know how much longer this war will last, I don’t know how much longer you’ll be away but what I do know is no matter what, I will never stop being here, ready to get another letter, looking at our pictures, thinking of all the amazing times we had together. When you’re back, I’ll be ready. I can’t wait to see you again._

_I love you, C_

Dean didn‘t know what it was about just seeing Castiel’s handwriting there on the paper. It made him feel content and happy. Tears were filling his eyes and he sniffed loudly as he wiped them away. He couldn’t cry now, he might wake someone. He needed this so much, he held the letter against his heart and sighed. Damn, he missed that boy so much. Dean’s heart had melted reading through the letter. His last letter had made Cas cry, he really did miss him, didn’t he? Dean had missed him just as much, he dreamt of him often and woke up trying hard to hold back sobs realizing where he was. He felt content finally, smiling, hugging the letter and the picture close to his chest before he heard a soft voice. He recognized it as another soldier, Garth Fitzgerald. 

“Whatcha smilin’ about?” he said, sitting down next to him. Damn, he must’ve been wrong about being the only one awake. That was definitely slightly frustrating. Dean drew himself together, uncomfortably as Garth continued, not getting the hint that he obviously didn’t wanna talk about it, “Letter from your girl?’

Not knowing what to say, Dean just nodded. It was from the person he loved but he really didn’t know how tolerant Garth would be if he said it was from his boyfriend. Thank God Cas had been signing his letters ‘C.’ For this exact reason actually. 

“Ahh, that’s always nice,” said Garth, smiling. “I got a letter from my wife the other day actually. My dear Bessie, I miss that woman.”

“Yeah, I miss h--her,” said Dean, stopping himself before revealing Castiel was too, a man. “It’s definitely been a very long time since the last time I saw… her face.”

“That her picture?”

“No! No,” said Dean, somewhat defensively, hiding Cas’s picture behind his leg. “It’s m-my broth-brother.” Now Dean was shaking slightly, worried he was about to expose himself to Garth. 

Thankfully though, he didn’t feel as if Garth suspected anything as they continued. “What’s her name?”

“C-Cas,” said Dean, smiling softly at the mention of his name. Though he didn’t before, for some reason he just wanted to say to Garth that Cas was his boyfriend, that he loved Cas more than he had ever loved anything and he just wanted to be with him again. Garth didn’t seem like the judgmental type, did he? But you never knew, didn’t you? It depended on how you were raised and in 1942, you never knew what somebody had been raised to believe. In fact, most of the men here (likely including Garth) had been taught to punch the queer out of a man like Dean.

“Cas. Hmm, sounds pretty.”

Dean chuckled softly. He is, he thought to himself seeing images of his beautiful boyfriend laughing in his mind but externally, he only nodded. He felt a warm comfort, as he was quiet and thought about being back with Cas. He wondered what was going on now, was Cas happy? Was he doing well? Did he miss him? He said he cried over his last letter, poor boy seemed to be a mess. Dean didn’t want him to feel like that, he wanted his lover to be happy even without him. 

That seemed to be the end of it. Garth didn’t say anything more, he was quiet after that and so was Dean. They were both left with softer memories of the past, before the war, hopes for after… Cas had said Sam was waiting for Dean to propose to Jess, he didn’t want him to have to wait but Sam was that kind of person. So once Garth had gone back, Dean laid down on his bed and held the picture of a smiling, happy Castiel to his chest. He sure loved that man. He imagined the feeling of Cas’s weight in his arms, holding his lover to his chest and kissing him on the cheek. Waking up to a cup of coffee and a smile, the messy black hair and big blue eyes. He hadn’t really appreciated the color blue as much until he left and everytime he noticed the color, he saw Cas’s eyes. Eventually, he drifted off with the image of his boyfriend’s smile in his head.

The next morning as Dean was being rushed through his breakfast, as usual when a man walked in Dean’s direction and threw a letter on the table next to Dean, “Winchester, letter for you.”

Dean looked up at the man and nodded, grinning small before taking it. He probably didn’t have much time, but it wasn’t like he was hungry. So he took the letter and looked at it quickly before opening him. It was from Sam, so he smiled as he opened it and noticed a polaroid inside so he grabbed it before reading the letter and laughing softly when he saw it. It was a slightly blurry polaroid of Jessica and Cas as if it was meant to be a nice picture but they had gotten distracted, Jess had her hands in front of her mouth and eyes squinting shut and Cas had his head thrown back in laughter, looking genuinely happy as if he was genuinely… okay.

So Dean opened the letter, Sam did tell him when Dean came back he wanted to propose to Jess. He smiled at that, when he came home, his baby brother was gonna get married, which was incredibly exciting to him. He talked about how he missed him, how he was worried about him, even including how he was a little worried about Cas. Apparently, the boy who used to never shut up had been worriedly silent and often didn’t eat or wouldn’t leave the house. Dean furrowed his brow, slightly worried himself. He’d definitely be writing his boyfriend another letter soon. Finally, the end of the letter detailed how Sam felt Dean would like this picture of Cas, maybe he’d need something happy in his life. And he was right, Dean appreciated his picture, he needed the reminder of his beautiful laugh.

“Is that Cas?” said Garth suddenly. Dean hadn’t even realized he was anywhere near him, but he jumped at the sound of his voice. “She’s pretty,” he said again and Dean realized he was asking about Jess.

Dean looked over, sighing softly. He could so easily get himself out of the whole dilemma of his sexuality if he just said ‘yes.’ If he just claimed Jess was Cas then everything would be so much easier. He wouldn’t need to worry, he wouldn’t need to say anything at all anymore because of this picture. But part of him couldn’t bring himself to lie anymore. Part of him didn’t care anymore. He was fighting a war, wasn’t he? Who cared if he was queer, it didn’t change how he fought? So he took a deep breath before he looked back at Garth (who he still wasn’t completely sure where he came from at that moment) and said,

“N-no. That’s Jessica, my brother’s girlfriend. Ca-Cas is a boy. That’s hi-That’s him.” Dean pointed to the laughing image of the beautiful boy. Garth’s face had the smallest expression of shock on his face but didn’t say anything at first. Not until they were walking with the group, traveling.

“So. Cas is a boy?”

Dean groaned, he didn’t wanna go over this now. But he wasn’t gonna fight it, he brought this upon himself by admitting it. “Yeah. Yes, Cas is a boy.”

“And you… and you love him? You love him as if he was your girl?”

It wasn’t like he could expect Garth to just get it or make sense of it but he still sighed, just slightly frustrated as he said, “No, Garth, I don’t love him as if he was ‘my girl.’ Because he’s a boy. He’s my boy though. That’s how I love him.”

“But you do love him romantically, right?”

“More than anything I’ve ever loved in my entire life.”

“Ah… I see.”

“You’re not gonna like… beat me up or anything?”

That got an audible, loud laugh from Garth. “You’ve seen me right? I can’t face you for shit. But yeah, I mean, it’s not like me disapproving would stop it. Also, it’s just not my business what you like to do in bed, you know? Or who you share your bed with.”

Dean smiled looking at Garth and putting a hand on his shoulder, saying, “I like you so much more than so many people. You know, a bit before I left someone beat him, Cas up because they heard a rumor he was queer. They were right, but they didn’t even know for sure, they just got so pissed they decided to hurt him.”

“That’s disgusting.”

“Finally. I’ve been waiting for so long to find someone who just had common sense. You know Garth, you may just be one of the only people on Earth who’s actually ready for us, Cas and me.”

Garth grinned softly before saying, “You know, I’m gonna help you, Dean. I’m gonna help you get back to him. You deserve it, you seem to love him.”

Dean felt a warm sensation in his chest and a smile grow on his face. “You’re right. Thank you, Garth.”

Garth patted his shoulder. “Anytime. You deserve to be with who you love. Man or woman.”

Before Dean had thought there was no one he could trust here. He didn’t know if he’d ever been at comfort or peace but now he met Garth. Garth who he knew beforehand, but now they had talked. Now they had gone over all this and Garth knew about everything. But Garth understood and he accepted it. And he felt at peace. For the first time in almost a full year.

So next time Dean was able to sit down he took out a pen and got writing. He needed to respond to Cas right away, the poor boy deserved a letter from his love as soon as possible. He was shocked he even found time to write, but he took advantage of it as time didn’t come often.

_My dear Cas --_

_I hope you’re doing well. Sam sent me a picture of you and Jess laughing together and it was nice to see a smile on your face again, it’s been too long since I’ve seen that smile in person. Don’t be too upset without me, Sam told me he’s worried about you. He thinks you’re having a hard time, please let yourself live without me. I’m even starting to worry. But know I miss you too, it’s been hard as hell, but you’re the reason I’m still fighting. I don’t think I could bring myself to let myself die and leave you alone. So know that I’ll fight through almost anything they throw at me._

_One of the men I’m fighting with knows about us now. His name is Garth Fitzgerald IV and he’s a nice boy. I told him the other day when he was basically interrogating me and I didn’t want to lie but he accepts it. He wasn’t rude about it at all and I feel genuinely comfortable with myself around him. He said he’ll make sure I can get home to you which makes me very happy. You know what, I keep dreaming of you. Just being around you, sometimes it’ll just be you smiling or laughing and it’s the only comfort I can get sometimes, my love. I don’t have much time, I hope this brief letter provides some comfort or happiness to you. You said you cried over my last letter, I don’t want you to cry. I want this letter to make you smile. I don’t know when I’ll be back but I hope it’s soon._

_With all the love in the world, Dean_


End file.
